Funny Boy

Dorian is funny. He is not talking yet, but you can ask him, "Dorian, where is your head?" and he will look at you and put his hand on his head, or you can ask him, "Dorian, where is your belly?" and he will pull up his shirt and show you his stomach.

BONJOUR, voici les thoughts of the jour garcon, mettez your bras dans le air.

I'd like to state for the record that the previous blog was about Carey Mulligan. I have seen none of her work, and I only know she is cute as hell. I do not have a crush on Shia LaBeouf or fantasies about fighting him naked on a mountainside.

During the winter, I always get sick of the cold and the grey, and I get all excited for the warm weather to come back. Every year, I somehow manage to forget that it isn't all sunshine and unicorn farts, and it gets grey and rainy and dull and depressing in springtime too. Arghghhrhh.

After seeing Emma Stone in Superbad and Zombieland, I thought she was super hot, and checked out her IMDB page to make sure that she was, you know, an appropriate age for me to be having inappropriate thoughts about (yup I'm sleazy, deal with it). Turns out she is. But after examining numerous photographs of her, I've concluded that it's unfortunately entirely possible that she'll kind of look like Fergie once she reaches Fergie's age. So even though 68 is a long way off for Ms. Stone, it does kind of ruin everything.

I don't like being around high levels of cynicism and negativity, if I can help it. I usually can. It doesn't even make me feel sad anymore; it's just really tiresome. Above all else, I hate being bored. I think most people do.

Tonight, a man on the subway projectile vomited, spewed all over the wall and some seats. His buddies leapt up in order to dodge. It was only about 9:40 pm. My first instinct was to glare at him for being GROSS, but then I realised, I have been there. I have been the gross subway guy. Except not at 9:40 pm, and I'm fairly certain that my friends took care of me. I don't remember if they had to dodge my friendly fire.

Somebody left some Babybels in my fridge. I love Somebody.

So, the list of actresses I want to get with has increased yet again. Shia LaBeouf, I will fight you.

Flying solo

I had a really awesome night.

For the past several months, I've been wanting to play some songs at an open mic thing somewhere downtown. What kept happening was, evening would arrive, and I would find some reason to not go - it's raining, snowing, too cold, I am tired, I have school tomorrow. Tonight I kind of just forced myself to get down there and do it. I went, just myself, to Ein-Stein, which holds an open mic show every Wednesday. I am glad that I did.

I walked in feeling like a complete loser, not sure where to sit down, or what to drink, or where to set down my guitar. I walked up to the bar and the man behind it asked me what I wanted; a young guy beside me recommended the house brew, and introduced himself. He explained that he was an American ex-marine who had deserted because he didn't believe in the war he was being asked to fight, and sought asylum in Canada. I was skeptical at first, but he turned out to be a really nice guy, and actually sat and talked with me for most of the night. We played some pool and he asked me to be his wingman to chat up a couple of girls, but I told him that I didn't know how to do that. I wasn't drunk enough.

In between open mic acts, the host was asking trivia questions, and when the category shifted to Simpsons trivia, I was like, "I GOT THIS" in a rare moment of self-assured cockiness. And I was right! For knowing the Simpsons guest roles of Jon Lovitz, Danny DeVito, and ... a bunch of others I no longer remember, I won a fleece jacket with a Grolsch logo on it. Not too shabby!

After kicking Simpsons-trivia ass, it was my turn to play. My time on stage felt unremarkable, because mostly everyone was drinking, drunk, and/or not really paying attention, so there wasn't really much energy to feed off of. But it was my first time on stage in years (and the last time was like, one song with Matt, so that barely even counts really), and my first time ever playing on my own. I had fun, and my new friend told me he enjoyed my songs, and that he could see that I put a lot of heart into it. I hope he was being sincere. I choose to believe that he was.

My new friend then asked me to again accompany him in talking to a pair of girls. At this point, I had had a little more to drink so I went along with it. It was surprisingly fun! I met a psychology student from the States who came here for spring break. We talked about life and music (we actually had some favourites in common!) and travelling and ... look, I know this isn't that interesting, but seriously, I have never ever gone up to talk to a random girl before. It really was a big thing for me, and the fact that we actually connected was just the most wonderful feeling.

I really thought I was just going to be a loner tonight - walk in, play, have a pint and leave. Instead, I had an absolute blast. I still can't believe it. I think I feel better than I have felt in a long time.

Good night :)