Trouble!

Today, the man at work who has schizophrenia wrote a letter for the boss. The boss was not in, so the letter was left pinned up in the office. It was not a nice letter. In fact, it was a threatening letter. The man with schizophrenia felt that the boss had been criticizing his work performance behind his back. Basically, it was three pages of messy kid-writing that ended with, "I will straighten you out real good. Love, Michael." I'm totally serious.

I was just leaving a comment on Darren's blog, and the CAPTCHA word was "suctic" haw haw haw. But then a strange thing happened. It changed as soon as the page finished loading. It was like it knew that I was laughing at its unintentional vulgarity and said, "F you, Owen, that's immature."

JGL = my hero

Seriously, I've been watching JGL videos on Youtube for half an hour. This one is insane.

Edit: One more :)

I have a massive crush on Megahn Perry.

That's all.

Lovester

Tonight, my parents prepared lobsters for dinner.
I was working on a big claw, and it cracked open suddenly, which (none of the following is exaggerated) resulted in really hot, frothy, white lobster substance ejecting somewhat violently from the claw, splattering on my hand, arm, shirt, and face.
The real tragedy is that I was in the company of my parents, grandmother, sister, and brother-in-law, i.e. no one with whom to make a dirty joke about it. Which makes me kinda sad.



Supplementary Material
The title of this blog entry comes from a word joke (I was going to call it a pun, but it isn't really) that my Filipino friend at Price Chopper, Peter, once said to me. The store was selling lobsters as a special sale, and I guess maybe due to his Filipino accent, Peter had trouble differentiating between the 'b' and 'v' sounds? So to him, "lobster" sounds like "lovester." So, as a [pretty lame] joke, he asked me, "Are you going to buy a hate-ster?"
But I'm a big fan of lame jokes, and appreciated it all the same.

Serial Testickicker in Langley, BC

I just read an article about this 22 year old guy in BC who was randomly kicked by a strange woman.
In the balls.
Really hard.
So hard that, afterwards, he realised that one of his balls was MISSING.

According to the article, the doctors first thought that his ball had gone up INSIDE HIM from the sheer force of the kick, which is fucking brutal already. They later discovered that it had, in fact, RUPTURED. OH GOD.
Apparently there have been several similar incidents in recent weeks, and police are investigating.

I wonder if hero cops are arguing about this.
"I'M heading the Serial Ballkicker case, NOT YOU, MURPHY."

Weird Dreams I've Been Having Lately

• attending some kind of Chinese Mafia wedding
• being chased through Chinatown by a guy who was pretty much like the Russell Wong character in Romeo Must Die
• stealing a bus, abandoning it at Sherbourne/Dundas, walking away casually
  
• hot dirty dream featuring sexy goth triplets
• video of Jocelyn and me doing bad karaoke hits the Internet, turning us into Youtube celebrities