I just found some old Pez dispensers in my room. One of them, Darth Vader, still had Pez in it. I did not know that Pez could get moldy. Fucking gross!

Deleted Scenes, Part 2

Continued from earlier post:

• Jan.8 2010: "My brother-in-law recently told me that he has a friend who is dating a girl, and her identical twin sister is dating the guy's best friend. THAT IS NUTS. I would watch this if it was a show. But actually no. It would probably be one of those crappy ones that gets cancelled after half a season, never mind."
• Feb. 21 2010: "...some ladies were totally into my dance moves tonight. I hadn't even gotten to my Russian jig yet at this point, either. They may have been completely messing with me..." Protip: I was also wearing my Star Trek uniform shirt. Ladies love that shit, obvs.
  
• Feb. 24 2010: On this day, a friend asked me, out of the blue, if I thought she was "overly emotional." Honest answer was yes. After hesitating a moment, I told her so, which - surprise - resulted in an irrational response: "I AM emotional, but I am also reasonable." I was then told not to respond to this self-appraisal unless I agreed with it. Point proven?
• March 19 2010: "This ice cream is supposed to have brownie bits and cookie dough, but I am not finding any brownie." Was still really good. My favourite ice cream, I think.
  
• March 29 2010: "There's this awesome girl who was in my class in winter semester of last year, and I still have her on Facebook, and every time she makes a status update, I'm more convinced she was like, MY FRIGGEN..." the next words were going to be 'soul mate', and then I thought, I feel super fucking creepy, and closed the browser. Rad girl moved back to London, ON.
  

My teacher called Mao Zedong's wife a bitch

Besides exams, today I am finished with semester 1 of Broadcast Television.

My final project was a short documentary about my father and his experiences in China in the 60s. I didn't want to dub over his Cantonese, so it was a lot of subtitles, ha ha ha. It was screened this morning in class, and I was a little afraid that my dad would look ridiculous, because he can be kind of loud and obnoxious when he is speaking, but it was very well received. I saw at least one person stand up to applaud afterward. He was probably half-kidding, but it was still great to get that kind of reaction.
I realised later that I am a bit of a narcissist. I loved the applause and compliments, but had little to say about the other projects, except for the ones that were really funny, or had exceptionally pretty shots.

But I really, really like editing movies and stuff.

So, except for exams, I'm off of school until May 11.
I think I want to write and record songs, and maybe play some open mic (if I can get rid of this god damn cold!), and read, and watch movies, and get some shirts.

And get drunk with YOU!
Is that possible?

Deleted Scenes

I was just looking through my list of entries on this blog, and there is a surprising number of "drafts," where I just started writing and didn't end up publishing the entry. Here are some of them:

• January 18/09 - "Charles Horse," in which I describe a couple of really bad mornings when I woke up to my leg seizing up in pain (I still think the title is funny)
• January 24/09 - "I think I might have dreamt that I killed my mother."
• January 25/09 - "Breast Milk," in which I describe an incident where Dorian was laughing and barfing at the same time
• April 7/09 - I describe waiting TWO HOURS (literally) for a bus. If you know a bus is coming in two hours, it's ok, but waiting and not knowing where the fuck it is for two hours is infuriating. Especially if it's past midnight in St. Catharines and you are trying to get home to Scarborough.
  
• September 15/09 - "I don't have time to be upset about Patrick Swayze, I'm still dwelling on Heath Ledger. YEAH, I know it was almost two years ago, just let me deal with it. OK? GOD." STILL TRUE.
• January 15/10 - I describe an incident at work where one of my bosses, a Chinese gynecologist, needed me to help her test out her new colposcope, an instrument that kinda looks like a telescope that is for examining the vagina. I was asked to hold a cardboard tube up to the colposcope in order to vaguely simulate the vaginal opening. My other boss, an English gynecologist, walks in and sees what we are doing, and asks, "Oh, is Owen being the vagina?" with her English accent. "Owen is the vagina!"
• February 22/10 - "When I was little, I thought that Will Smith was saying 'In West Philadelphia, born IN RAGE' in the Fresh Prince theme song."

There's actually more, but this is all for now.

Funny Boy

Dorian is funny. He is not talking yet, but you can ask him, "Dorian, where is your head?" and he will look at you and put his hand on his head, or you can ask him, "Dorian, where is your belly?" and he will pull up his shirt and show you his stomach.

BONJOUR, voici les thoughts of the jour garcon, mettez your bras dans le air.

I'd like to state for the record that the previous blog was about Carey Mulligan. I have seen none of her work, and I only know she is cute as hell. I do not have a crush on Shia LaBeouf or fantasies about fighting him naked on a mountainside.

During the winter, I always get sick of the cold and the grey, and I get all excited for the warm weather to come back. Every year, I somehow manage to forget that it isn't all sunshine and unicorn farts, and it gets grey and rainy and dull and depressing in springtime too. Arghghhrhh.

After seeing Emma Stone in Superbad and Zombieland, I thought she was super hot, and checked out her IMDB page to make sure that she was, you know, an appropriate age for me to be having inappropriate thoughts about (yup I'm sleazy, deal with it). Turns out she is. But after examining numerous photographs of her, I've concluded that it's unfortunately entirely possible that she'll kind of look like Fergie once she reaches Fergie's age. So even though 68 is a long way off for Ms. Stone, it does kind of ruin everything.

I don't like being around high levels of cynicism and negativity, if I can help it. I usually can. It doesn't even make me feel sad anymore; it's just really tiresome. Above all else, I hate being bored. I think most people do.

Tonight, a man on the subway projectile vomited, spewed all over the wall and some seats. His buddies leapt up in order to dodge. It was only about 9:40 pm. My first instinct was to glare at him for being GROSS, but then I realised, I have been there. I have been the gross subway guy. Except not at 9:40 pm, and I'm fairly certain that my friends took care of me. I don't remember if they had to dodge my friendly fire.

Somebody left some Babybels in my fridge. I love Somebody.

So, the list of actresses I want to get with has increased yet again. Shia LaBeouf, I will fight you.