What sorcery is this?

I was thinking it would be fun to dress up in 18th century clothing and walk around acting really confused and looking at things like traffic lights and automobiles and such, and saying things like "HORSELESS CARRIAGES, WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!" But it was really early in the morning when I thought of this. It seemed less funny as I woke up more fully.

I was black last night

I had this bizarre dream where I was participating in a social experiment where I had like super extreme make-up to make me look like I was a small black woman. So in my dream, I woke up and went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror, and I shrieked! Because I had forgotten that I was a small black woman.

Rickroll Avenue

Oh, hi guys!

When I'm on the bus and the lady computer voice announces the stops, I frequently hear them wrong. And I mean ridiculously wrong. The other day, I thought I heard "Rickroll Avenue." I looked up at the sign and it read "Britwell Avenue." NICELY DONE, OWEN.

My house is currently empty. It makes me want to order awesome food and enjoy it ALL BY MYSELF. Because this is how I combat loneliness: food and porn. But never together, I think that's weird.

Darren was amazing last night. If you didn't see it, that's actually a real genuine tragedy. I got like seven boners in twenty seconds. Srsly.

My iPod is getting sad.

A few weeks ago I dropped my iPod Nano in a dirty puddle. It may have been this or numerous other drops or the accumulation of drops, but my iPod is getting worse every day. It no longer plays properly unless I apply specific pressure to the lower right corner of it. Depending on how I apply this pressure, it might:

1. Play properly
2. Cut out the left ear
3. Do this strange thing where all I hear is low thudding and bass, while midrange and high end is cut out
4. Not play at all

I thought it was my headphones at first, but it really isn't. :(

The High Five Game

We've been trying to get Dorian to give us high fives. Over and over and over. He's been kinda reaching for and grabbing hands, which is good enough for us. My mom was just doing it, actually. She puts up her hand and says, "Dorian, give me five!" and we wait a bit. And my mother's hand moves a little, to get his attention. And we wait. And he reaches for my mother's hand and grabs it, and right then, EVERYONE GOES NUTS! YAYY! YAAAAAYY YAHAHAA! HAAAAY! And there is applause and people are jumping up and down!

And then we do it again. :)

Blog for the hell of it.

Has it been a week already? Damn. I thought I was doing so well with this blog. I have nothing entertaining to talk about. I was thinking, What did I do today? And immediately, my instinct was to complain about the fucking TTC, because it sucked so bad today. Boring. I saw the Wrestler today. It was good but anybody who has watched five minutes of TV in the last two months could probably tell you that.

Sometimes I smell my own hair. Freshly washed, greasy as hell, whatever. Having long hair enables me to do this, so I do it. I like doing it.

I finally got some Nutella; May strongly suggested that I try it a long time ago. This morning I had it on some toast. I don't know if that's how you're supposed to do it but that's what the picture on the jar appears to be of, so that's what I did. I liked it. Sweet. Smooth. Less spreadable than I had thought it would be.

Let's move right along so that Darren doesn't say anything vulgar about that last bit.

There are a lot of presentations I have to do for school. I think almost every class has a presentation. I hate presentations. They make me nervous and shakey, more so. I may have wrote about this already, I don't remember. Somebody did a presentation on Asperger's syndrome today. It made me wish that I had some kind of diagnosable problem so that I could blame my shortcomings on something besides just being a lame guy.

I think I'm done for now.

Watch your dick,


Owen

I Am Procrastinating.

I have a stupid assignment due tomorrow. It is a report on the A/V equipment available at school. It is worth zero percent of final grade. This alone makes me not want to do it, but douchey course instructor insists we should.
I was exempted from taking English, which is awesome. Glad to have less stupid shit on my course load.

Nephew Dorian is funny. He laughs any time we say the word "uncle" in my grandma's crazy grandma dialect. He is slowly learning to respond appropriately when we say, "Gimme five, Dorian!"

This girl who is in all of my classes is my friend now because she started talking to me on the bus, and she talks a lot, which is good because I don't know how to talk a lot like she does. She talks at high speeds about friends and family, and it's literally impossible for me to keep track of who is who because there are so many people in her life that she tells me about, but the stories are mostly at least mildly entertaining. Much of the time, I don't know how to respond properly in a conversational way, so I just smile or laugh a little. My face starts to hurt from artificial-smiling too much after a while. Social interaction and I are not the best of friends.

Trudy was pinching my elbow with a hairclip. She said "Doesn't that hurt?"
I said, "No, it's annoying."
Then she said, "No. You know what's annoying?"

Then, slowly, calmly, she put the hairclip on, and stood up.

"SNAP ATTACK!" She then commenced waving her hands around my face, snapping her fingers over and over again. I like that motherhood has not yet demanded that she mature too much.

I meant to start this stupid assignment an hour ago. Fawwwk.